That Turn Around...Not So Much

    Is it May 2nd yet? That's the only thing keeping me going right now. On May 2nd, a new chapter will open. But that's not why Im blogging.
    Im blogging because I need to vent. Its been a rough weekend. I had to work Saturday. I wasnt mad about working, I was made about the fact that I didnt sleep the night before. I stayed up all night long and went to work a 6 in the morning. I didnt chose to stay up all night. It just happened. I havent been able to sleep these last 2 weeks. After working all day, I came home to have to finish working on my kitchen.
    Sunday morning came around and it was midnight. I was planning on going to Easter Sunrise Service at 7 in the morning, and I decided that it would be easier to stay awake than to wake up. After the service, I came home to cook breakfast. I ended up burning my arm. Bacon grease shot on my arm. Nice looking blisters on my arms. Then I went to service at 9:30. Great service.
    I came home after the 9:30 service and had to clean the house before I had more family come down for Easter dinner. I finished cleaning around 2, and decided to take a nap. That lasted 30 minutes.
    Since Friday, Ive picked up on 30 minutes of sleep. Ive been running on fumes. I honestly have no idea how Im sitting here blogging this right now, but it will continue.
    So fast forward to about 8 at night. I ran to Walmart to get a card to turn my phone on. I use StraightTalk. Good phone service. But back to point. My phone has been shut off for a few months and I just let it die. Well, my brother took my charger and used it to get a number out of my phone. Well guess what. I paid to turn my phone on, and now I cant use it because I cant find my damn phone charger.
    Its almost 3 in the morning and I still havent picked up on any sleep. I have to be up early in the morning to go job hunting. Not going to lie. Its not going to go well. I turned my phone on just for the job hunt, and with no charger, I cant receive phone calls from the places I apply.
    Turn around my ass.

The Little Things Pay Off

    Do the litte things and they will pay off. Im telling you this from personal experience. The little things you can do will pay off big.
    I was engaged to a sweet beautiful girl named Allison, and she loved the little things. She was a waitress at Beef-O-Brady's and I was a skater. She got up around noon and left for work every day, and I was up til 4 or 5 AM, then I went out skating around 8. I always made sure she had fresh coffee when she woke up. (Coffee pot was on a timer. Gotta love those things.) I left note for her to see when she woke up and got ready for work. I made her breakfast on the mornings she was awake when I got out of bed. I made her french toast from scratch. I did the little things to make a relationship work.
    My favorite little thing was the time we were laying on the couch and she looked up at me and told me that she wanted to watch a movie. TV was boring that night. Always is. So I told her that I would grab 3 or 4 movies and let her pick from them. Well, I grabbed the wrong movies. So I went back to the other room to get a few more movies, and I decided to go with another option. I picked up the entire movie shelf and I carried to her to pick the movie she wanted to watch.
    Its the little things that will get you far in life and in relationships. So many little things will add up to be a big deal. Good or bad, the little things will add up to be big. Dont be afraid to do the little things. They might be to do the laundry, make dinner, wash dishes after dinner, vacuum the living room, make the bed, give a massage, leave little cute notes for him/her, or even a kiss on the cheek at random moments, Do the little things. They matter big. You may not think that, but they do.

A Turn Around?

    Is my life really on a turn around? I mean, after the last few years Ive had, it needs to turn around. I think that this past week, its starting to. I dont want to sound so mushy and what not, but I believe I have met the dream girl.
    Actually, I met her about 3 years ago. Im not saying names, and Im not getting into details about her. Ian, I know you will end up reading this and start bugging me about who she is. Well guess what. Not telling you. This will be kept to myself.
    Now Im not blogging about this just to brag, show off, or whatever anyone might think Im doing. Im blogging about this to help a little. I hate talking about stuff that goes on, and I hate it when people listen to me. This is more of a therapy for me. Im not big on talking about myself, unless Im man dating with Ian, so this blog is more of a help me out of my comfort zone.
    Glad to be sharing this and Im glad that you all that read this, all 3 of you that actually see this. Now if you will excuse me, Conan is on. I must enjoy.

Have You Ever?

    Im going to share a few situations Im in or have been in. Ive been in a handful of sticky situations, and Ive somehow gotten out of them alive or minor injuries.
    Have you ever almost died drinking? I have. I was at a little party with Kyle, Mollie, and a local band Asleep by Dawn, and I had a few beers. I ended up wandering out by Mollie's pool and I sat down with my feet in the water. After a few minutes of sitting there, I decided to lay down. I fell asleep. Kyle woke me up frantically. My head was hanging off the edge of the pool inches away from being in the water. Talk about a sticky situation.
    Have you ever been in love with a married girl? Or a girl you know you will never have, or have again? I dated this girl in high school and we legitimately fell in love. We broke up shortly after and stayed good friends. The thing is, we have been friends for 4+ years and Im still kicking myself for letting her go for so long. I woke up one morning to find out that the girl I fell in love with was getting married.
   I have a few more of these stories to share but I dont want to fill up a whole blog post.

My Life Story - Part 8 (The Final Part)

As I was about to start classes at Edison, I was in a giant pickle. I couldnt get my books because of SCF. They messed up on my transcript which forced a hold on my grant money. I was able to start classes but I didnt have books to use to do my class work. So at the start of the classes, I was already behind and aggravated. It took two weeks to get my transcript, have it processes at Edison, and get my holds lifted so I can get my books. So after being behind 2 weeks of school work, I was screwed. For those who havent been to college or are planning to go, Dont get behind in ANY of the work. It is near impossible to catch up. I was able to do it in one of my three classes. After getting through half the semester, I decided to drop a class. I dropped my creative writing class, the one class I was enjoying. I couldnt catch up on the work, and it was that or fail completely. I kept my psychology and my English class. My psychology class was way ahead of me and I tried my ass off to catch up, but I couldnt. I ended up failing that class, and my reading class, I caught up on the work but I ended up failing my final by 6%. Talk about my luck. I shook it off and was ready for the winter break and the spring semester. I took my month long winter break and was ready to start my second semester. On the first day, my car broke down, and my grant money didnt got through. So I was forced to drop my spring classes and wait for the summer semester. To go back to the previous semester, I took out a loan to help on the who financial aid problems. It wasnt that big of a loan so I knew it wouldnt come back to bite me in the ass. But you can only guess what happened. Around March, they sent me a letter in the mail telling me that my loan has to be paid back. I was screwed again. The little things in life have come back to get me. $1,750 in a loan that I have to pay back. Its middle of April now and my payments start in July. Talk about stressful. I cant find work because this economy is terrible. The job I have now it anything lower than part time. I work maybe 4 days a month and get paid 8 bucks an hour. I never work more than 3 hours a day. There are even times I got 5-6 weeks without working. So this job cant help me in anyway. And for me, the ultimate nail in the coffin of a rough life is that since the beginning of this whole downward spiral I call my life, Ive had only 2 really good friends. Ive had Ian and Tim. Tim has left to go serve our country in the Navy. He actually left Monday. Then there is Ian. We are still best friends, but his job and his girlfriend take up most of his time, so hanging out with him comes maybe 3 times a month. Still talk almost every night. So most of the time Im left here alone with my thoughts. The exact place a man doesnt want to be for too long. Im there from the time I wake up, to the time I fall asleep every day of every week.

The messed up part of this whole story is; if I could go back and change what would happen, I wouldnt. Everything that has happened to me has happened for a reason and it has made me the man that I am today. My mom's cancer turned me closer to God. My torn ACL opened my eyes and let me know that I needed to go out and have a real career. And my college failures have told me that I will get knocked on my ass all the time, and I just need to get right back up and go until it happens again.

So my terrible life from 2005 up to today sucked, but it was a huge help in making me who I am today.

And this marks the end for my life story. Now on to other blogs. Like sports, music, video games, the comedy side of my life, the good time, maybe more bad times as they come, and my walk with Christ.

My Life Story - Part 7

As I was getting ready to start college during the summer, life was starting to look great. I was playing full seasons in a church softball league, I was playing with my best friend Ian, and Ian was starting to date the girl he fell in love with on the spot at our first game of the season. As soon as he saw her, his jaw dropped so fast, there was a hole halfway to China. It took 4 of us to pick his jaw up. Life was good. I was in college. First day of summer courses started off with a bang. Not a good bang, but a bang. I was set up for grant to pay for my classes, and when I got to the campus, I went to the book store to go get my books. Sounds like a very easy task right? Well it wasnt. Financial Aid has messed up my whole payment. I didnt receive my grant and I couldnt pay for my books or classes. After a long back and forth with the bookstore cashier, I noticed three things. One, I had to go talk to the financial aid office and figure out what was wrong. Two, I have a huge anger problem. After the back and forth with the cashier, I told her to go F*$k herself. And Three, State College Of Florida was the start of my college problems. The financial aid office told me that they would hold my classes until I got my grant money.  They said a week and they only held them for two days. So a week later, I went to class to find out that they dropped me from the class, and me showing up made me resign up for the class, and I would have had to pay for the class the second time. After I heard that news, it was bad news bears for the financial aid office. I sat in the chair across the desk and I was pissed. The lady printed out a paper that says she held my classes on May 11th of 2010...for two days. Some hold right? Sounds like she is reliable. As I was telling her that she lied and messed up on her hold, she kept denying it. My face was turning red and I was looking like I was going to choke her. I was about to. I was ready. But I held off. I didnt jump the desk and kill someone who needed to be fired. So I decided to give up on that college. I just stopped going. I didnt want to deal with their constant B.S. I went to Edison State College to try again at a new and closer college. I went from a college in Venice Florida, to a college in Punta Gorda Forida. I lived 20 minutes from Edison and 45 from SCF. I went into Edison and I got the registration forms and I was set to start classes in August. Until SCF struck again. I needed my official transcript, and SCF was the place to go. It was 7 bucks to get it and I paid it and made the drive to get it. After they gave it to me, I took it to Edison. Edison called me a few days later telling me that I needed a new transcript because my classes were incomplete. I got my transcript the day the grades went in the books officially, and they never updated my transcript. So I had to go back and make the 45 minute drive again to pay 7 more bucks for a piece of paper. I was set to start classes in 3 days, and it took the transcript 5 days to process and mail to me. You can do the math. Something was wrong there and I wasnt excited for it. I looked like it was gonna be a long school year.

My Life Story - Part 6

After I got home from my dad's house in New Jersey, I stopped talking to him. I wrote him out of my life, because he is a complete total douche bag. I decided that I would be better off without him. So I got home and I went to hang out with one of my team skaters Kyle. Kyle was dating this very attractive girl Mollie. Mollie had a very attractive friend Saraa flying down from Louisiana, and I was going to be the guy that kept her busy while Kyle and Mollie had their time alone. What we all didnt know was that Saraa and I would end up talking and end up making out for countless hours in Mollie's bed. I ended up sleeping over Mollie's house and Saraa and I slept together. We didnt do it or anything. Just laid there and fell asleep. The next day we all went to the beach. After going to the beach I went home, showered, and headed back over to Mollie's. I felt a connection with Saraa and I wanted to see her as much as I could before she left for home. So I stayed over Mollie's another night, and we slept together. We woke up the next morning and she was ready to go home. While Saraa was at home in Louisiana, I was home in Florida, and we talked a lot on Myspace until we decided to exchange phone numbers. After a few nights of phone calls, we decided to make a huge mistake. We decided to do a long distance relationship. I kept faithful on my end, while she lied and cheated on her end. I was crushed. Devastated. We lasted a little over a year before she cheated on me. It was a long year. Full of fighting and other typical relationship drama. The day after our 1 year mark, she broke up with me. About a month later was when she told me she cheated on me. Big mistake on my end. Big mistake. After our relationship ended, I started talking to one of my best friends from church. Her name was Kaitlyn. After a few days of talking, we were in a complicated relationship. We were dating but without the title. We kept it on the down low because her mom hated me and that made her dad hate me. We ended up "dating" for 9 months, and her parents forced us to break up. Her parents forced the break up because they didnt trust or believe in me. I told them I was going to go to college and get a degree in religion and become a minister. Something I was actually wanting to do for years before. So after they split us up, I enrolled in college at State College of Florida. I was ready to start college, but I wasnt ready for the curveballs and roadblocks that were on the road ahead of me.